I Feel Stuck

Figuratively and pretty literally.

I struggled a bit to figure out what to write about for today’s post.

When I planned all my posts at the beginning of the month it was supposed to be my “Books I’m taking with me to Apollyon” …but in light of everything going on right now it’s been canceled.

While I know it’s the best for everyone and the health of humanity, I’m freaking bummed as hell and a little annoyed. I get the why, it just sucks, and it feels really unfair.

If we weren’t at the beginning of a YA Dystopian – gotta have a sense of humor, even if it’s a bit morbid, I’d go up in a ball of anxiety otherwise – I’d be headed to Apollycon on Thursday. Sigh.

So, then I had to come up with a new post idea last week, and I thought I’d do an Author Spotlight because it’s been a hot minute since I’ve done one.

Well, it’s totally not a valid excuse, but I got a Nintendo Switch Lite and Animal Crossing: New Horizons, and I procrastinated big time. Before I knew it, it was midnight and I still hadn’t chosen an author. So, I’m pushing that post back a week, and you’re left with this rambling mess of a post that serves no purpose other than an excuse to actually post a post.

Honestly, though, I’m feeling uninspired and unmotivated. I’m sure everything going on in the world doesn’t help, but I really just think I’m in a rut. But then I feel conflicted because as much as I want to exist in other people’s worlds – thank goodness I’m not in a book slump – I do want to write.

But then I sit in front of my screen and do nothing but stare at it. I won’t get into too much of a writing update, since that post is going up later this week, but it’s been hard. I’ve been able to do a little bit of revising, but not as much as I hoped.

I guess it also really doesn’t help that I got a Switch Lite and AC New Horizons, because it’s made me so freaking unproductive. I know me and give me a few more days of obsessively playing and I’ll most likely get bored. When I was contemplating buying a Switch, I realized I hadn’t bought myself a gaming system since the OG grey brick of a DS. I split the cost of that thing with my brother. It was the first gaming system I’d purchased. My upgraded DS Lite (? Honestly, idk what it was called, but it was like a light turquoise blue) was a Christmas gift years ago. Dropping what was probably over $300 dollars – for the Lite, AC New Horizons, Stardew Valley and the stupid Online Membership – freaking hurt. I actually had a little post purchase anxiety and nearly took it back to the store, and if we weren’t social distancing, I might’ve, but I didn’t want to be out any more than I needed to.

Speaking of social distancing, I hate it.

Hate. It.

My mom jokes that I didn’t leave the house before we weren’t supposed to. But before, I knew I could leave and go anywhere, anytime I wanted, and it didn’t matter. Now, there’s a freaking wall, and the fear of someone berating or belittling me for running a quick, necessary errand is like a looming grey cloud. Now, when I have had to run quick errands, all my experiences have been good, and cautions and utilized tons of hand sanitizer and a 6-foot personal space bubble. Though, I guess I never realized how expensive my grocery store across the street is, when we’re in the middle of a pandemic, people panic buying and when they’re not running all their usual sales.

Never in my life, or my parent’s life, have they had a $500+ grocery bill.

Yes, you read that right.


Now, we were lucky enough to be able to afford that, and on any other given trip, the average weekly grocery trip comes in at about $180, hardly much more than that. The only time I gets more expensive than that, is the grocery trip leading up to our family beach vacation, but we tend to buy a lot of meat and buy food for a lot of people. That trip usually comes in at around $300 and we’re feeding at least 13 people.

You might be thinking, ‘well, meat and essentials prices are going to jacked tf up, due to panic buying’. I’d say ‘you’re right, but it wasn’t either of those things that screwed the bill.


– You know, I didn’t plan on going off about my grocery bill in this post, but I guess I’m still a bit heated or blown away…honestly, I’m not entire sure.


What screwed the bill were the few non-essential toiletry/bathroom items we purchased. The only exception being the Tylenol – I expected that to be jacked. But Fiber Gummies and Contact Solution?? Roughly $17 for the gummies (We bought 2, and they’re usually like $11-$12) and almost $13 for the contact solution (again, we bought 2, and they’re usually like $8)…plus the $20 for the Tylenol and a few other non-essentials added over $100 to the total. I’ll also add that none of these items were scare on the shelf. None of them.

Price gouging at its finest.

The hamburger meat was ~$8 per pound.

I can’t wait for the waves of panic buying to stop and products come back to the shelves. It might be a while, but hey, we’re stocked up just enough to last us if we get put on lockdown. Eventually though, depending on how long this last, we’ll have to go to the store again, especially for fresh produce – because if I eat nothing but frozen stuff for a month, I’ll need to buy bigger pants. I’m just going to have to go to a different store, because I do not want another $500 grocery bill. That hurt.

Okay, this is where I’m going to sign off. I’m going to turn on Animal Crossing and probably blow another hour before I even realize what time it is. I hope you all are doing well and staying sane. If you can/are able, go outside and take a walk. Even if it’s for 5 minutes in front of your house. Staying cooped up inside all day is no good. Walks have been my release and it’s helped so much. I feel less trapped.

Actually, one final note – I’m planning on hosting a giveaway at the beginning of April, so keep an eye out for that. There will be multiple winners, and whatever I can fit in a Medium flat rate box – books, ARCs, book box swag and Con swag – will be sent to the winners! The only caveat is I don’t know when I’ll be able to ship – it’ll depend on everything else that’s going on. But if you are interested, keep your eyes peeled!

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