Work is burning me out and by the time I get home and get everything else done so I can write, I’m exhausted, and my brain does not want to work. I’m going to catch up this weekend, So I’m not going to stress out over it.
It also does not help that I don’t know who my characters are. I forgot how hard drafting is and being perpetually tired does not help. I’m probably going to spend a little time this weekend trying to figure out who my characters are and what their motivations are. I also switched up the POV. The chapters that happen in the past are in 3rd person, while the chapters set in the present are in 1st. But I’m honestly thinking about making the whole thing 3rd since the words tend to slow much easier that way.
I also keep thinking that I’m not dark and twisty enough to write this book how I envision it in my head. I don’t know, I just don’t feel the same desire and drive that I had in previous years. I know it’s due to the exhaustion that I don’t care. I refuse to give up though and I refuse to wreck my “Years Participated” streak. But either I don’t know the story well enough – which is a very real possibility, or I’m just not the right person to write it? I’m going to give it my best shot and I know the magic really happens in revisions. I just need to get words on the page first. I also need a clear head and that probably won’t happen until work stops running me ragged.
This update isn’t going to be long – just know that I’m so tired that I *almost* don’t care about NaNo, that I’m 100% catching up this weekend – thankfully I’m only a few days behind and that I don’t know who my characters are. It’s all a mess, but it’s fine. I’m not stressing.
Since this is a shorter post, I’m sharing another short little scene. These to characters were not planned and now I love them. Like last time, this is a really rough, first draft, word vomit, zero editing scene. Half the stuff I’ve written this week has been in this haze of sleep deprivation, so if it sucks, oh well. I like it and I sent this scene to a friend and they liked it. So, I’m happy.
Hopefully next week I can stay on track because I hate getting behind. I hope your NaNo projects are going well and that you’re staying on top of your counts!