Well, I’m still like, 14-15k behind and there are three days left.

The race is on and I honestly have no idea if I’m going to actually finish. I’m going to try like hell to finish, because I would really hate not to, but 14-15K is a lot for 3 days and the inspiration and drive comes and goes.

Mainly it just never shows up.

I did just write like, 2.4k in one sitting, which is the best I’ve done so far, but I still don’t feel a lot of passion for this project. I will say that the more I work on it, the more I like it. So this concept of having no drive to work on it, baffles me.

I’m really chalking it up to just being busy and tired and honestly forgetting how hard drafting is. I’m definitely changing my tune from “I prefer drafting over revising” to “I prefer revising over drafting”. I love the creativity that comes while drafting – don’t get me wrong – but if I’m not super excited for the project or feeling any desire to work on it, drafting is like pulling teeth. It’s exhausting. Trying to wring out words to meet goals…it’s not fun.

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But moving onto the actual project and not just me whining –

I’m slowly figuring some things out. I thought my male vampire (Dimitri) was going to be dark and twisty and broody, but he’s turning out to be a lovesick, devoted fool. I kind of love it, but it’s not the vibe I was going for.

I’ve figured out that my female MC (Emanne) is going to progressively become more badass with each reincarnation of her life. I’ve been working on her first life, and she’s very damsel-ish. I’m not mad about it and I kind of love it. She’s not completely helpless, but from time to time, I’m honestly a sucker for a damsel in distress type story. I’ve never written a character like her, so it’s fun figuring her out. I’m looking forward to writing her other lives and seeing how different she is in each one.

I also think my lovesick vampire will become dark and broody as the story progresses, but I really won’t know until I write the scenes.

I’ve just realized that I’ve basically completely forgotten about the God of Death and his role. Thank goodness this is only a really rough first draft. I’m still figuring out the world, lore and history, so I’m not too bothered that I keep forgetting him.

I’m also forgetting him, because words only seem to really flow when I’m writing the “past” scenes between Dimitri and Emanne. And since I’m so behind, I’m legit just drawing out their scenes. I know the pacing of this book is completely and utterly off and again, I’m trying not to let it bother me. Legit my only concern is getting words on the page so I can hit 50K. So, if cutesy, romantic scenes are what’s drawing words out and onto the page, then that’s what I’m going to write.

Though, during that writing session I talked about above, an annoying, potentially nifty, minor plot twist presented itself and it offers a unique opportunity to explore Emanne. To test her limits and figure out more of who she is. Same goes for Dimitri. I’m hoping to write the scene(s) today so, if it pans out, you’ll see it in my final NaNo Update next week.

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Now, before I get to the sneak peek scene – which again, is rough, unedited and only the first draft – I thought I’d share my Playlist.

I don’t use Spotify – so unfortunately, I can’t just share it, but here it is!

Some of the songs I chose because of their vibe, some lyrics and others because I could picture a scene perfectly while listening to it. I usually don’t listen to music while I write – normally I can’t, unless it’s an instrumental soundtrack. But feeling no drive and desire to really work on this WIP, I figured a playlist couldn’t hurt. I listen to it while I’m not writing as well, in the hopes that it triggers some sort of breakthrough.  

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As a final bit to this long update, here’s the sneak peek scene. For some context, Emanne wanted to go on a picnic, so Dimitri obliged (lovesick, devoted fool) and he’s lightly picking on her and teasing her. All while realizing how in love with her, he’s become. This first life they share is supposed to take place in some past version of France – since I’m writing this for NaNo and it’s a rough, rough draft, I’m not sticking to any sort of historical accuracy. So, please don’t judge me for not making it historically accurate – I legitimately don’t have time to do the research right now. And I’m not entirely certain I want it to be accurate. I’m thinking about making it a fantasy setting that is loosely reminiscent of our world, where some events line up, but not exactly. I’m also still thinking about make it historical at all.

So, I hope you read and enjoy. I really do love this scene.