This is going to be a short one.

I made basically no progress this past month.

I don’t know where the time went, but while I didn’t get many words on the page, I did work on it.

I also sent what I had to my BFF who has read every draft so far, so I could get some feedback. So, I’m waiting to hear from her. I’ve been wanting her to read these revisions for a while now – but due to everything, she just simply hasn’t had the time. Our schedules hardly ever align these days – it’s terrible. Lowkey, I wanted her up to date with what I had written and with the direction of the story, so that I could talk at her (lol) until ideas clicked, and so that she could give me input and another viewpoint.

And while I’m waiting for her input, I’ve been rereading, refamiliarizing myself again with the book. I reread what I’ve revised so far, and now I’m rereading the last draft to make sure I didn’t miss some pivotal moment or emotional weight. Since I can’t quite figure out why I’m stuck, I figured it couldn’t hurt to look back at the last draft – which worked at the time.

But I will say, while rereading my SF WIP (the revised chapters) I’m honestly not mad. I know we all go through phases of doubt where we think that our writing can’t possibly be good. But to toot my own horn and inflate my ego a little bit – what I have written honestly isn’t terrible…at all. And yeah, I’m biased. Obviously. But I was reading the words I wrote, and I kind of forgot I wrote them. I was absorbed in the story – the world, the characters. It’s exactly what I want in a space SF – which is why I’m writing it.

And honestly, it did wonders for my self-esteem.

I thought I would get more done, be more productive and actually make headway this month. I thought that with making conscious efforts to open the word doc almost every day (at least 5 times a week) and putting words on the page, or rereading through what I had, it would just click. Everything would just fall into place.

Other than a (seemingly) brilliant light bulb moment while at work – there really hasn’t been anything. And that lightbulb moment – a really cool thought in the moment, inspired by I don’t know what – but ultimately it would have changed the structure of my WIP so much. It would have caused me to re-write a lot and once the thrill wore off, and I did a little messing around with the idea, it just didn’t work anymore. It lost its shine very quickly.

Here’s to hoping June is actually productive. 2 people now have the first 11 chapters of my WIP, so feedback is inbound, and hopefully that will help. In the meantime, I’m determined to figure this shit out and get back on track. It’s been months, and I need to finish this WIP.